Through it all.

Happy Birthday to the person I simply cannot live without. The person who accepts all of my flaws, reminds me of them and challenges me to be the best version of myself. You make me want to be the best I can. And, you do that by being an incredible partner, co-parent and driving me crazy at the same time.

You came into my life when I needed you the most but had no idea I did. My heart was in a different place, my head was in another but you helped me piece it all together and come out smiling. So thank you. Thank you for helping me grieve the challenges life has dealt. The loss of my mom, our miscarriage, becoming new parents and everything in between. And while some days it can be so hard to smile, you remind me why I should. Why we should. The support you have provided to me since sending that first email has never wavered. And I love you for it.

You make me laugh and let me cry while just holding me up.

The first song is everything you are to me. And the second is how I will always explain falling in love with you (minute 2:52 I die). I tear up every time I hear them. My life, my smile and my heart are where they are because of you. Ending relationships, starting new ones, moving three times in two years, having two kids in three years, losing a baby, new jobs, family heartache – there is nothing we can’t overcome and that is something you’ve challenged me with since we met. Thank you for always having my heart.

And this blog is your present. You’re welcome, you said not to spend any $$.

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Horses and handheld memories

Since it’s almost the one year anniversary of our relocation to Iowa, I decided to put some personal touches throughout the house. I so admire people who are able to breathe life into a room with their style (The Makerista) because I just don’t have that talent.

But Hayden-Keith’s birthday seemed like a great deadline to give him a big boy room. When we moved he rocked transitioning from his crib to a queen bed. We made it seem like the crib didn’t move with us, so he was prepared ahead of Leah’s arrival. There were a few sleepless nights / weeks but he did great.

In my last post you saw the intensity of his love for horses. After one horse ride at a pumpkin patch he was hooked, and “Misty” has been his horse ever since. I’ve followed UrbanWalls for a while and since I didn’t want to commit to painting, their wall decals were perfect. After seeing local Iowa blogger, Nina and Cecilia (amazing) post on them, I decided to get some samples. UrbanWalls customer service was so nice and responsive, they recommend samples as the decals won’t work on heavy textured walls. The samples were sent quickly with no charge. Our walls are a bit textured but the decals held well. They were super easy to apply and they come off no problem. I was sold, placed my order for several sheets of “Misty” —  BUT rookie mistake — measure before ordering (yes they recommend this in the FAQs, but I was super cocky, guessed and now have several extra sheets).

The Small Horse Wall Decal was the missing piece to his unplanned “home on the range, wild west themed room” complete with a teepee. He loves it. To quote the cutie, “mom I love these Misty’s, thank you for hanging them.” Ugggh stay sweet forever please. And, seriously, if you’re considering adding some unique flare to a room, Urban Walls is where it’s at.

 

It’s funny how family heirlooms have a way of molding into a new generation. Growing up I remember my mom having a guitar – I have no idea why she had one. Never heard her play, but I made sure it didn’t get donated when we cleaned up my parents house. I hate getting rid of things, especially handheld memories. The guitar is now next to the teepee and Hayden-Keith thinks Angel Grandma Kristi gave it to him, which she totally did. Between the bald eagle photos, her old picnic basket next to his bed for books and the guitar, my mom is well represented in this room. The photo over his bed is actually a photo of Joel and I on our first trip to Scottsdale AZ, it’s a horrible picture for a canvas but has never made its way to the trash…again, I can find a use for anything.

Any tips for decorating with family heirlooms? Links below if you saw something you can’t live without.

Dresser | Teepee | Horse Decals | Frames | Lamp | Slippers | I’ll Love You Forever Canvas | Buffalo

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Some Kid 3rd Birthday

A birthday is a big deal. You won’t convince me otherwise and if you’ve been following along in past posts you’ve gotten the hint. An Olympic Games #1 birthday party and donut/ Mickey Clubhouse “ohh toodles” 2nd birthday – obviously the 3rd birthday had to follow suit. And it did…

I’m totally taking advantage of throwing a party my kids will love but that also has some sentiment. Hayden-Keith is very much my spirit and he has seemed to gravitate towards things his mom likes (animals, gardening, being outdoors etc) – sorry Joel. And he’s even taken a liking to some of my favorite movies…one being Charolette’s Web. Since horses are his favorite animal, and Charolette’s Web takes place on the farm, I knew we had to capitalize on this interest.

So I did what any mom would do by bringing the book to life and stalking local farms to see who could bring a horse to our house for rides. We made our own “Some Kid” 3rd birthday party complete with Angel, the sweetest horse from Rolling Hills. They were so great to work with and the sweetest. Hayden-Keith had the best time playing with friends and family, riding Angel and just celebrating getting another year older. We should all celebrate our birthday like a 3 year old.

My mom grew up on a farm and that was such a big part of who she is but she also went all out for birthdays. I know she was proud of his party and LOVED that he had NO FEAR meeting and riding Angel (all 7+times). It was great having family and friends there to celebrate with us.   And praise the Lord for Amazon Prime. I was able to get decorations and party favors in two days so nothing was done last minute. I made the “some kid” decoration using a hula hoop, duct tape and scotch tape – super easy and I’m pretty happy with the way it turned out.

#3 Balloon | Farm balloons  | Walking horse balloon | Barn door prop | Horse toy | Masks | Hats | Favor bags | Favors

The horse and party were our gifts to him but we snuck in one extra surprise. Because he loves horses so much and I have neglected to decorate his room, I connected with UrbanWalls for some adorable horse decals. Stay tuned to see how his big boy room turned out.

 

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Happy Birthday Mom!

Today we celebrate the birthday of a beautiful woman who turns 60 in heaven. All day I caught myself wondering how she’d spend her day. We did our best to honor her here on earth. I finally hung decorations in Hayden’s room that have a special tie to her — bald eagle prints, horse decals and an “I’ll love you forever…” print. I couldn’t help but tear up as I was cutting flowers from our “Grandma Kristi” garden thinking how badly I wish I could share life with her. I wish she could see the excitement Hayden has for the bird feeder anytime he catches a visiting bird in his binoculars. Or the way he is so happy and proud to smell our flowers. He loves to play baseball and bake and just live life. I would give anything for her to have a slumber party at our house in Hayden’s teepee then greet Leah in the morning smiling wide-eyed in her crib. We’d take them on a long walk or runs, talk about recent award shows, the news and grill seafood.

I know she’d love sitting with my dad and just watching her Grandkids play and laugh. She’d be right there with them. And while it breaks my heart to think of all the things I don’t get to see her do, I know she does them all in Heaven.

I love you mom. Thank you for every moment you remind me that you are here, never far from my thoughts and always in my heart. Happy 60th.

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Hayden Keith 1st Birthday Olympic games

As promised I’m sharing how we celebrated Hayden Keith turning 1 and how I made sure my mom was a part of the day!! It was a bittersweet day for me on a couple levels. My firstborn / little baby boy was no longer a baby. He had turned into a walking, laughing, loud BOY. And, I wish my mom was there to celebrate.

Growing up with two sisters and no brothers we had to find something that was our own and it was birthdays. Basically your birthday was a national holiday. I blame this solely on my mom. She went above and beyond to make sure our birthday was our day and that didn’t change, as we got older. I was fortunate enough to live at home for all my birthdays with my mom, and every year I came down to a present on the table, her signature eggcake breakfast, a homemade cake (if she hadn’t ordered DQ) or flowers, something that showed me it was my day. I will cherish this forever. Continue reading →

Happy birthday mom.

Blog1     Welcome. This blog is a new project for me but it really feels like it’s been writing itself for years. In the past five years, my life has thrown so many curveballs, presented painful obstacles and sadness, but also had some crazy beautiful experiences. It will be five years this October since my mom lost her battle to stage 3c ovarian cancer, and life since her diagnosis has always been bittersweet. It’s hard to make new memories without her, just like it was hard to make memories during her fight in fear they’d be her last. If her death has taught me anything, it is to live each day as if it’s my last but to never apologize for continuing to mourn her. Never feel bad for being sad. Grief goes on and it will never go away. I struggle every day to accept that she is no longer here, but in that struggle, I try to remember how she would want to see me from Heaven and that gives me the strength to make the most of what I have because I’m still here and get to have it. Continue reading →