All that you’ve missed but seen

Thank you so much for all the love, thoughts and messages regarding our last post. While our hearts are broken we know it’s not the end of our journey to grow our family and will just see where God takes us.

IMG_6787It’s officially been five years since the last day I got to talk, hug and love my mom in person. And it’s been really hard. It’s been harder than normal and I find myself tearing up really easy, just wishing I could call her. As I do each year, I took the day off to just spend some time with myself and her. I made sure to do things we would have done together or something she would have done in her every day like taking Lou for a run and baking her cut-out cookie recipe. Joel even helped me frost and decorate. Oh and I wore her turtleneck cropped wool sweater which I received compliments on (my sisters won’t believe it). My sister Catie and her manfriend Arlin came over and we ordered “terrible” Chinese. It was great.

That night as I was trying to fall asleep, I couldn’t help but think of all the things she has missed but seen since she passed, these came to mind:

  • Watch Tucker grow from a baby to a kindergartener
  • Celebrate Joel and I getting engaged
  • Dance at her daughter’s weddings
  • Cheer Catie on at National XC and Track meets
  • Laugh at Tucker’s explicit excitement opening Christmas gifts
  • Hear the news Joel and I were pregnant and meeting Hayden Keith
  • See Bailey graduate high school, and Catie and Bailey graduate college
  • Attend a Packer game at Lambeau and a Hawkeye game at Kinnick
  • Celebrate Bailey, AJ, Tucker and Frankie becoming The Nelsons
  • Help her daughters move out of the house they grew up in, two leaving the state
  • Meet great-nieces and nephews
  • Holidays in Decorah and Thanksgiving at Lynette & Huck’s
  • Bake Grandma Lillian’s pineapple upside down cake for Father Keith
  • Say good-bye to Reese (our family lab)
  • Bike rides and dog park visits with my dad
  • Field 15-20 phone calls from her daughters per day
  • Long runs on her usual route in Indianola (up Iowa, through Buxton, out to the bike trail and back)
  • Visit Decorah and Grandma and her sisters at the Olson Farm
  • Spot bald eagles
  • Visit her daughters in Minnesota, seeing our new house and Catie’s apartments
  • Cheer me on at my half marathons
  • Work for McConnell concessions
  • Attend church with Father Keith at Redeemer on Sundays
  • Bake poppy seed bread for her coworkers at Christmas
  • Make eggcake
  • Participate in countless road races and events for ovarian cancer as Team Bald Eagle
  • Spend hours baking and decorating holiday cookies
  • Boat with The Hull family in Panora
  • Help with any waxing needs (long story, sorry Bailey)
  • Dance with Ellen every day at 4pm
  • Join Father Keith’s All-Stars fantasy football league and March Madness
  • Hear her grandsons say “Grandma”
  • Spend every day with Father Keith and Sophie

So much more come to mind and none of them have been the same since or will be as amazing as they could be without her.

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