Some days are hard and some days are even harder. Last night was a really hard one. Over the last month I’ve been trying to cope with loss and understand how and why some experience more loss than others. I know everyone has their own battle(s), but some just seem more obvious than others but regardless loss hurts. It doesn’t make one loss any less than the other. But to some holding onto that loss and grief can be a sign of weakness. As if there is a time frame for grief and “getting over” someone or something. To those people I would say, “it is really easy to say that when you aren’t the one experiencing those emotions.” You don’t have to go through your day seeing people live a life you once knew or you wish you could experience. Logging into social media, you see so much joy (which is great) but on a hard day it can make it even harder. People having babies, spending time with their parents and friends, and it’s easy to start to compare and break yourself down because your life doesn’t live up to that picture. That’s my struggle.
I see friends posting pictures of their kids with their mom or dad, and their parents getting to be grandparents and it’s hard. I see friends welcoming babies or friends having girl’s nights with new friends. And I’m happy for them, I truly am, but at the same time it can be hard to see and make the loss and loneliness seem even worse. And, then where do you draw the line between sadness and envy. I know I have so much good in my life, to balance out the loss and loneliness which I am so grateful for, because it definitely helps on the hard days.
We all pick our paths but some are chosen for us. Each day I struggle with that, and due to life I’ll probably always struggle with it. If you struggle with these same thoughts…cheers, you’re not alone.